«لعب عيال» في مكاتب الكبار.. لماذا يتصرف مديرك كطفل مدلل تحت الضغط؟

It may all start with a meeting that doesn't seem important. Your manager closes the door, retreats with two of their close associates, and then begins talking about an absent employee. The goal isn't to discuss their performance or solve a professional issue, but to find a narrative that could harm them: a truncated piece of information, a biased interpretation, or a rumor quietly passed on to the rest of the team. In the playground, we might call this "childish play." But what do we call it when it happens behind the closed door of a manager's office?

In organizational behavior, rumors and gossip are not just passing talk. Studies have investigated their use within work environments as a means of social marginalization, undermining others, and exercising dominance, especially in contexts of workplace bullying.

From here, Lynn Taylor's idea becomes more interesting. In her 2009 book Tame Your Terrible Office Tyrant, Taylor describes what she calls the Terrible Office Tyrant (TOT): a manager who behaves, especially under pressure, in a way reminiscent of a small child's behavior. The book is based on interviews and research with employees, managers, and psychologists, and it draws a direct comparison between the behaviors of children and managers when they lose their ability to self-regulate.

The core idea of the book is that both the child and the manager under pressure may struggle to control their power or think rationally. Among the similarities that Taylor mentions are: tantrums, demanding behavior, stubbornness, mood swings, selfishness, neediness, and complaining.

However, Taylor does not categorize these managers into a single mold. The dysfunctional manager may exhibit Bratty Behavior: boastful, bullying, overly demanding, dismissive, impulsive, and whiny. This category in the chapters of the book includes behaviors such as bragging, bullying, demanding, ignoring, and impulsiveness.

They may also appear as a Little Lost Lamb; like the confused or moody manager who asks many questions and needs reassurance and guidance, rather than the manager who tries to assert control over everyone.

But this book is not the only one to link the idea of the "big child" to certain managers. In the literature on human resources and organizational behavior, expressions like Childlike / Childish Workplace Behavior and Childish Behavior / Childishness at Work appear to describe childish behaviors in the workplace: such as complaining, sulking when not getting what they want, snitching, forming cliques, spreading rumors, storming out in anger, and throwing tantrums.

In a 2015 survey by CareerBuilder in collaboration with Harris Poll, which included over 3,000 full-time employees and more than 2,000 hiring and human resources officials in the United States, 77% of employees reported witnessing childish behavior in the workplace.

Here, the meaning of the phrase changes. A child may form a clique to exclude another child. The insecure manager may do the same. A child may snitch on others, and a confused manager may spread a rumor. But when a manager becomes addicted to this, a completely different problem arises: the child has a desire, while the manager has power.

This is the paradox that makes Taylor's analogy more than just a managerial joke. An angry manager may turn their anger into a decision. One who ignores an employee can turn that neglect into professional isolation. And one who uses gossip may have the ability to legitimize it by virtue of their position.

Conversely, the "big child" may not be a bully at all, but rather fearful, hesitant, and moody; which Taylor categorizes as a Little Lost Lamb.

In both cases, the problem is fundamentally the same: childish behavior has entered a place that is supposed to be governed by adult rules. A child learns over time how to control their anger and desires. However, in the office, the more challenging question may be: what happens when the child gets the manager's desk?