•• حدثني صديق، لا وزن له في الحياة، عن رغبته كتابة مذكراته ونشرها.. سألته: هل تمتلك شيئاً مختلفاً عن بقية من كتبوا سيرهم الذاتية لاقتداء الناس به؟.. لم يُجب.. هذا الرجل أعرفه منذ أعوام؛ عاش حياة كئيبة ومُرة ومُوجعة، يخرج من خذلان إلى انتكاسة، وكلها تركت في روحه ندوباً.. وفي حياته علامات سوداء سقته الندم، وأشعرته بالعجز، وتركت بداخله غيوماً رمادية.
•• البعض يكتب سيرة حياته ولا يشعر بالإثم حين يظن في نفسه أنه ذلك الكائن المتفرِّد.. يحاول إثبات قدرة لا يمتلكها، فيتعايش مع أحداث يضخمها وهي في الأساس معتادة عند الناس.. تلك الحياة البهيجة التي يدعيها ويكتبها بفخر هي في حقيقتها روح هائمة.. حياة فرد مقصوص الجناح تخلو من الدفء الإنساني.. لكنه يريدها (بالغصب) حياة ظاهرها الرحمة وباطنها في قِبلِها العذاب.
•• مثل هذا يشعر بالضمأ لإبراز حياة مطوَّقة التزوير.. وحين يشتد عليه العطش يتسلل إلى المجد في غفلة من الزمان.. يظن أنَّ لذة الحياة البئيسة التي عاشها ستتغير بنشر مذكراته التعيسة.. رجل في غاية الشعور بيتم الحياة فيجثم على صدور الناس بمذكرات تكسر جرات الفخار.. لا يبالي بمن (يرفس) ما كتبه بحافر الاحتقار.. يريد فقط أن يملأ روحه بسعادة لم يمتلكها.
•• من أراد أن يمسك بأيام حياته الرمادية الغائمة بالأحزان؛ فليبحث عن الحنين الصادق لا المؤدلج.. لا لينشرها بل لكي لا يشعر بانكسار وحشي يلازمه منذ زمن.. ولا ليموت الحب في قلبه فتتغير مشاعره وأحاسيسه المشتعلة.. ولا ليدب الصمت في داخله (فيعشعش) في روحه صراع رخامي.. إنما لينقضي ليله الطويل شديد البطء عليه، ويتسلل شعاع نهار أمله من خلف ستارة نافذته.
مدونو سيرهم الذاتية بين العذاب والرحمة:
ينصب نفسه كائناً متفرداً حين يكتب سيرته
يشعر بالضمأ لإبراز حياته مطوَّقة التزوير
لا يحس بالإثم عند كتابته قدرات لا يمتلكها
يدعي حياة بهيجة في حقيقتها روح هائمة
تابع قناة عكاظ على الواتساب
خالد بن هزاع الشريف
khalid98alshrif@
•• A friend of mine, who has no weight in life, told me about his desire to write his memoirs and publish them. I asked him: Do you have anything different from the rest who have written their autobiographies for people to follow? He did not answer. I have known this man for years; he has lived a gloomy, bitter, and painful life, moving from disappointment to setback, all of which have left scars on his soul. In his life, there are black marks that have fed him regret, made him feel powerless, and left gray clouds inside him.
•• Some write their life stories without feeling guilty when they think of themselves as that unique being. They try to prove a capability they do not possess, coexisting with events they exaggerate, which are, in fact, common among people. That joyful life they claim and write about with pride is, in reality, a wandering spirit. It is the life of an individual with clipped wings, devoid of human warmth. Yet, they want it (by force) to be a life that appears merciful on the surface but is, underneath, a tormenting facade.
•• Such a person feels thirsty to showcase a life surrounded by forgery. When thirst intensifies, they sneak into glory in a moment of time's negligence. They believe that the pleasure of the miserable life they lived will change by publishing their miserable memoirs. A man who feels the orphanhood of life squats on the chests of people with memoirs that shatter the jars of pride. He does not care who (kicks) what he has written with the hoof of contempt. He only wants to fill his soul with happiness he has never possessed.
•• Whoever wants to hold onto the gray days of his life, clouded with sorrows, should seek sincere nostalgia, not ideologized. Not to publish it, but so he does not feel the brutal defeat that has accompanied him for a long time. Nor to let love die in his heart, causing his feelings and burning emotions to change. Nor to let silence creep inside him (to nest) in his soul, a marble struggle. Rather, to let his long, painfully slow night pass, and a ray of hopeful daylight sneak in from behind his window curtain.
Autobiographers between torment and mercy:
They position themselves as unique beings when writing their stories.
They feel thirsty to showcase their lives surrounded by forgery.
They do not feel guilty when writing abilities they do not possess.
They claim a joyful life while, in reality, it is a wandering spirit.
•• Some write their life stories without feeling guilty when they think of themselves as that unique being. They try to prove a capability they do not possess, coexisting with events they exaggerate, which are, in fact, common among people. That joyful life they claim and write about with pride is, in reality, a wandering spirit. It is the life of an individual with clipped wings, devoid of human warmth. Yet, they want it (by force) to be a life that appears merciful on the surface but is, underneath, a tormenting facade.
•• Such a person feels thirsty to showcase a life surrounded by forgery. When thirst intensifies, they sneak into glory in a moment of time's negligence. They believe that the pleasure of the miserable life they lived will change by publishing their miserable memoirs. A man who feels the orphanhood of life squats on the chests of people with memoirs that shatter the jars of pride. He does not care who (kicks) what he has written with the hoof of contempt. He only wants to fill his soul with happiness he has never possessed.
•• Whoever wants to hold onto the gray days of his life, clouded with sorrows, should seek sincere nostalgia, not ideologized. Not to publish it, but so he does not feel the brutal defeat that has accompanied him for a long time. Nor to let love die in his heart, causing his feelings and burning emotions to change. Nor to let silence creep inside him (to nest) in his soul, a marble struggle. Rather, to let his long, painfully slow night pass, and a ray of hopeful daylight sneak in from behind his window curtain.
Autobiographers between torment and mercy:
They position themselves as unique beings when writing their stories.
They feel thirsty to showcase their lives surrounded by forgery.
They do not feel guilty when writing abilities they do not possess.
They claim a joyful life while, in reality, it is a wandering spirit.
