لتأسيس الأسرة وتخفيف نِسب الطلاق !

With the arrival of the International Day of Families on May 15th each year, it is important to take a moment to reflect on the state of family disintegration and the increasing rates of divorce.

We need to conduct in-depth studies and examine the preparations for marriage closely, moving through procedures to overcome the causes of separation and divorce.

This requires a serious pause and a thorough review of the course of life and the developments in social relationships among us.

Among these are:

1. Not rushing into marriage,

I suggest adhering to reaching the (prophetic age) before marriage, which is around the age of 25.

Thus, the engaged couple would have:

- Completed their university studies.

- Exceeded the "green file" period.

- Started receiving their first salaries.

- Become accustomed to financial and household independence.

- And developed a growing cooperation between them.

2. Pre-marital screening:

This is the official laboratory examination of a blood sample, which has become familiar, accepted, and even mandatory for us for years. It includes checking the blood compatibility between the engaged couple, ensuring they are free from infectious diseases, and avoiding genetic diseases such as sickle cell anemia, which may lead to physical and mental disabilities in newborns, especially with cousin marriages.

3. Psychological screening

Should be conducted before drafting the marriage contract, focusing on measuring the compatibility and personal affinity between the engaged couple, and identifying any psychological or behavioral disorders such as obsessive-compulsive disorder and bipolar disorder, among others.

4. Social assessment:

To measure the likelihood of any aggressive tendencies and to work on developing healthy relationships between the two parties.

5. Attending short courses:

At specialized consulting agencies in family affairs, which include brief lectures, awareness films, and courses that gather those about to marry from the same age group; practical cases are presented and their solutions discussed.

6. Focused interviews:

To test the level of intellectual compatibility, personal maturity, and general mood similarity between the engaged couple.

7. Agreeing on marriage arrangements:

And sharing in the contract and wedding ceremony within the means of the engaged couple, while avoiding boasting and extravagance. It is better for them to share in the costs and steer clear of lavishness, settling for exchanging wedding gifts and organizing the essentials of starting a shared life, each according to their capacity.

8. Regulating the dowry

I prefer to call it "the bridal gift" or marriage gift, while avoiding exaggeration; it suffices for the groom to present an appropriate set of jewelry, along with reasonably furnishing the home.

9. Sharing expenses:

This includes wedding costs, the honeymoon trip, and general living expenses. (Perhaps the husband bears the larger share), thus they share and contribute from the beginning!

10. Preparing a suitable residence:

A reasonable and sufficient home for them and for the health and education of their children.

11. Delaying childbirth in the first year:

To provide an opportunity for deeper acquaintance between the spouses within the daily life, away from the formalities of the engagement period.

12. Organizing pregnancy intervals:

After the first child, it is advisable to complete the breastfeeding period for two full years before starting a new pregnancy. Thus, the second pregnancy will coincide with the first child entering kindergarten.

13. Limiting to two children:

I affirm that having two children is sufficient for healthy upbringing. The third is a burden, and the fourth is excessive!

14. Including separation conditions in the contract

To be agreed upon on the night of the contract, not (the engagement!) so that the marriage contract includes all necessary conditions for both parties. Among these is that the right to dissolve the contract is preserved for both parties, and divorce is not executed unless they are both present before the official authority that drafted the contract, whether it be the court's authorized person or its judge.

Thus, the status of the married couple is strengthened on the basis of equality and justice.

If matters reach separation, God forbid, they should exit the marital relationship in peace, dignity, and respect, just as they entered it for the first time, while being careful to remember the affection and kindness between them.