بعد أن أصبحت العلاقات وكأنها مشاريع مؤقتة؛ ظهر مفهوم «الموعد النهائي لإنجاز المهمة» (deadline) كأداة حادة في أيدي بعض الشركاء بقرار نهائي وأحادي الجانب لإنهاء العلاقة.. كثيرون باتوا يقررون بصمت أن يمنحوا الشريك «فرصة أخيرة» دون علمه؛ يراقبونه، ينتظرون تغيراً قد لا يأتي، ثم ينسحبون بهدوء وكأن شيئاً لم يكن.
فهل اتخاذ قرار مصيري كالانفصال حق مشروع لطرف دون الآخر؟، أم أن الإنصاف والاحترام يفرضان إشراك الطرف الآخر، لا في القرار فقط، بل في مقدماته أيضاً؟.
من حق كل إنسان أن يقيِّم علاقته مع الآخرين، والابتعاد حين يشعر بأنها تستهلكه أو تُضعفه، وهذا لا يعني ممارسته ذلك من موقع التخفي والمراقبة، وكأن العلاقة ساحة اختبار سري، فحين تُمنح مهلة دون علم الشريك، تصبح النوايا غير واضحة، ويتحول القرار من كونه تصرفاً ناضجاً إلى موقف يتقاطع مع الأنانية والخذلان.
العلاقات الصحية لا تبنى على الانتظار بصمت، بل على المواجهة بشجاعة، فالأقوياء لا ينسحبون دون تفسير، بل يمتلكون الجرأة الكافية لفتح الحوار، للتعبير عن الاحتياج، لتوضيح نقاط الألم، ويمتلكون القدرة على اتخاذ قرار ناضج بعد منح الشريك فرصة حقيقية للتغيير، لا مهلة سرية مجهولة النهاية.
أن تشرك أحداً في مخاوفك، أن تخبره بأن هناك حدوداً إن لم تحترم؛ فستضطر للمغادرة هو قمة النضج، أما أن ترحل دون مقدمات، فذلك لا يعبِّر إلا عن هروبك من المواجهة، واستخدامك لسلطة القرار كوسيلة انتقام غير معلن.
العلاقات لا تُبنى بطرف واحد، والانسحاب من العلاقة لا يجب أن يكون ثأراً هادئاً أو لعبة انتظار، بل نتيجة حوار واضح، وقرار يتّسم بالصدق والاحترام.
لنتذكّر أن الحب شراكة، والنضج في العلاقات لا يظهر في طريقة البقاء فقط، بل في طريقة الرحيل أيضاً.
تابع قناة عكاظ على الواتساب
أسماء موسى
asm_mous1994@
After relationships have become like temporary projects, the concept of a "deadline" has emerged as a sharp tool in the hands of some partners, with a final and unilateral decision to end the relationship. Many have silently decided to give their partner a "last chance" without their knowledge; they watch them, waiting for a change that may never come, and then quietly withdraw as if nothing had happened.
Is making a fateful decision like separation a legitimate right for one party without the other? Or do fairness and respect require involving the other party, not just in the decision, but also in its prerequisites?
Every person has the right to evaluate their relationship with others and to distance themselves when they feel it is draining or weakening them. This does not mean exercising that from a position of concealment and surveillance, as if the relationship were a secret test arena. When a deadline is given without the partner's knowledge, intentions become unclear, and the decision shifts from being a mature action to a stance that intersects with selfishness and betrayal.
Healthy relationships are not built on silent waiting, but on courageous confrontation. The strong do not withdraw without explanation; they have the courage to open a dialogue, to express their needs, to clarify points of pain, and they have the ability to make a mature decision after giving their partner a real opportunity for change, not a secret deadline with an unknown end.
To involve someone in your fears, to tell them that there are boundaries that, if not respected, will force you to leave, is the pinnacle of maturity. However, leaving without any preliminaries only expresses your escape from confrontation and your use of the power of decision as a means of unannounced revenge.
Relationships are not built by one party alone, and withdrawing from a relationship should not be a quiet revenge or a waiting game, but rather the result of clear dialogue and a decision characterized by honesty and respect.
Let us remember that love is a partnership, and maturity in relationships is not only shown in the way one stays but also in the way one departs.
Is making a fateful decision like separation a legitimate right for one party without the other? Or do fairness and respect require involving the other party, not just in the decision, but also in its prerequisites?
Every person has the right to evaluate their relationship with others and to distance themselves when they feel it is draining or weakening them. This does not mean exercising that from a position of concealment and surveillance, as if the relationship were a secret test arena. When a deadline is given without the partner's knowledge, intentions become unclear, and the decision shifts from being a mature action to a stance that intersects with selfishness and betrayal.
Healthy relationships are not built on silent waiting, but on courageous confrontation. The strong do not withdraw without explanation; they have the courage to open a dialogue, to express their needs, to clarify points of pain, and they have the ability to make a mature decision after giving their partner a real opportunity for change, not a secret deadline with an unknown end.
To involve someone in your fears, to tell them that there are boundaries that, if not respected, will force you to leave, is the pinnacle of maturity. However, leaving without any preliminaries only expresses your escape from confrontation and your use of the power of decision as a means of unannounced revenge.
Relationships are not built by one party alone, and withdrawing from a relationship should not be a quiet revenge or a waiting game, but rather the result of clear dialogue and a decision characterized by honesty and respect.
Let us remember that love is a partnership, and maturity in relationships is not only shown in the way one stays but also in the way one departs.


