في كل تجمّع بشري لا بد أن تجد هذاك الشخص الذي إذا سألته بكل بساطة: كم الساعة؟ يرد عليك: «الوقت مفهوم نسبي يا صديقي»!
فهناك فئة من الناس تعشق الفلسفة حتى لو كانت (على غير سنع)، يتفلسفون لمجرد أنهم يريدون ذلك، أو يحاولون أن يثبتوا للآخرين أنهم مختلفون بشكل أو بآخر، وباختصار هُم يعانون نفسياً، ونحن نعاني من (عيناتهم) واقعياً.
وصدقوني لو كان صديقي العزيز (سقروط) أو في رواية -سقراط- حياً يرزق لدفن نفسه ليرتاح منهم.
وعن نفسي؛ لا أحب الفلسفة بجميع أنواعها، ودائماً أبحث عن البساطة وعدم التعقيد في كل شيء في حياتي، أريد أكلاً يؤكل، وكلاماً يُفهم، وسؤالاً يجاوب عليه بدون مقدمة أطول من نشرة أخبار التاسعة.
وبالمختصر أنا إنسانة بسيطة، إذا جعت أكلت، وإذا شبعت حمدت الله، وإذا نعست نمت، وإذا تفلسف (على راسي) أحدهم وضعته على السايلنت Silent mood.
وعلى طاري الفلسفة؛ حاول أحد الأزواج (الظرفاء) بينما كانت زوجته تعد له وجبة الفطور وهو يقرأ الجريدة، وسألته بلطف:
- هل تحب يا زوجي العزيز أن أطهو لك بيض مسلوق أم بيض عيون؟
فرد الزوج عليها بكل فلسفة قائلاً:
- الحب يا عزيزتي لا يقاس بنوع البيض الذي سوف تطبخينه لي، بل بنية تقديمه، هل أنتِ تطهينه لأنك تُحبينني، أم لأنك تخافين مني؟!
- فنظرت زوجته إليه بنظرة حادة وكسرت بيضة وقالت:
- بصراحة، أطبخه لأني لا أريدك أن (توطوط) جهة المطبخ نهائياً حتى (لا تحوس) لي الدنيا.
- لكنه لم يتوقف عند هذا الحد، بل قال لها:
- أترين؟ نحن نعيش علاقة زوجية مبنية على الخوف من الفوضى، لا على الحب الخالص بيننا، وهذه هي المأساة.
- فلم تتحمل الزوجة فلسفته، وذهبت إليه و(فقشت) البيضة الثانية فوق رأسه وقالت له: (هيّا خلّي فلسفتك تفطرك) يا حبيبي.
عموماً؛ هذه مشاكل عائلية لا علاقة لنا بها، أخبروني من فضلكم من الذي جاء أولاً البيضة أم الدجاجة؟!
وعلى كل حال؛ في حياتنا اليومية قد نصادف أمثال هؤلاء الناس، الذين لديهم قدرة خارقة على تعقيد أي شيء بسيط وتهويله، تسألهم: كيف الجو؟ يردون عليك: الجو مجرد انعكاس لحالتك النفسية، فأحيان تكون الشمس طالعة ولكن قلبك مغيم، وأحيان تمطر ولكن روحك في صحراء، وإذا صمت:
قالوا لك الصمت أبلغ من الكلام، وأنت وقتها لا تفكر إلا بشيء واحد، متى يطبقون هذه الحكمة ويسكتون.
خلاصة المقال:
بالفعل هذه الفئة من البشر تشعر أنهم ينامون على كتب (نيتشه)، ويستيقظون على فطور (ديكارت)، ويؤمنون أن الحياة كلها قد تفسد إذا ما تعمقنا بها فلسفياً.
وبالمناسبة؛ سألت صديقة لي وهي «معلمة رياضيات»، وقلت لها في حديث عابر بيننا: متى تنامين ليلاً؟
فأجابتني: «في الساعة التي مربع ثلثها يساوي مكعب سدسها».
(عاد حلوها أنتم) عن نفسي قلت لها:
الله يشغلك في نفسك عساكِ ما نمتي.
تابع قناة عكاظ على الواتساب
In every human gathering, you must find that person who, if you simply ask: "What time is it?" responds: "Time is a relative concept, my friend!"
There is a category of people who love philosophy, even if it is (not quite right), they philosophize just because they want to, or they try to prove to others that they are different in one way or another. In short, they are suffering psychologically, and we are suffering from their (samples) in reality.
And believe me, if my dear friend (Socrates) or in the narrative -Socrates- were alive, he would bury himself to be free from them.
As for myself; I do not like philosophy in all its forms, and I always seek simplicity and lack of complexity in everything in my life. I want food that can be eaten, words that can be understood, and a question that can be answered without an introduction longer than the 9 o'clock news.
In short, I am a simple person; if I am hungry, I eat, if I am full, I thank God, if I am sleepy, I sleep, and if someone starts philosophizing (on my head), I put them on silent mood.
Speaking of philosophy; one of the (funny) husbands tried, while his wife was preparing breakfast for him and he was reading the newspaper, and she kindly asked him:
- Do you like, my dear husband, for me to cook you boiled eggs or sunny-side-up eggs?
The husband replied to her philosophically, saying:
- Love, my dear, is not measured by the type of egg you will cook for me, but by the intention of offering it. Are you cooking it because you love me, or because you are afraid of me?!
- So his wife looked at him sharply, broke an egg, and said:
- Honestly, I’m cooking it because I don’t want you to (mess) around the kitchen at all so that (you don’t mess) up my world.
- But he didn’t stop there; he said to her:
- Do you see? We are living a marital relationship based on fear of chaos, not on pure love between us, and that is the tragedy.
- The wife couldn’t bear his philosophy, went to him, and (cracked) the second egg over his head and said to him: (Come on, let your philosophy have breakfast) my dear.
In general; these are family problems that have nothing to do with us. Please tell me, which came first, the egg or the chicken?!
Anyway; in our daily lives, we may encounter such people, who have a superhuman ability to complicate anything simple and exaggerate it. You ask them: How’s the weather? They respond: The weather is merely a reflection of your psychological state, sometimes the sun is shining but your heart is cloudy, and sometimes it rains but your spirit is in a desert. And if you are silent:
They tell you silence is more eloquent than speech, while you are only thinking about one thing: when will they apply this wisdom and be quiet.
In summary:
Indeed, this category of people feels that they sleep on (Nietzsche) books and wake up to (Descartes) breakfast, and they believe that life can spoil entirely if we delve into it philosophically.
By the way; I asked a friend of mine who is a "math teacher," and I said to her in a casual conversation between us: When do you sleep at night?
She answered me: "At the hour when the square of a third of it equals the cube of a sixth of it."
(Now you figure that one out) for myself, I told her:
May God keep you busy with yourself, hoping you haven’t slept.
There is a category of people who love philosophy, even if it is (not quite right), they philosophize just because they want to, or they try to prove to others that they are different in one way or another. In short, they are suffering psychologically, and we are suffering from their (samples) in reality.
And believe me, if my dear friend (Socrates) or in the narrative -Socrates- were alive, he would bury himself to be free from them.
As for myself; I do not like philosophy in all its forms, and I always seek simplicity and lack of complexity in everything in my life. I want food that can be eaten, words that can be understood, and a question that can be answered without an introduction longer than the 9 o'clock news.
In short, I am a simple person; if I am hungry, I eat, if I am full, I thank God, if I am sleepy, I sleep, and if someone starts philosophizing (on my head), I put them on silent mood.
Speaking of philosophy; one of the (funny) husbands tried, while his wife was preparing breakfast for him and he was reading the newspaper, and she kindly asked him:
- Do you like, my dear husband, for me to cook you boiled eggs or sunny-side-up eggs?
The husband replied to her philosophically, saying:
- Love, my dear, is not measured by the type of egg you will cook for me, but by the intention of offering it. Are you cooking it because you love me, or because you are afraid of me?!
- So his wife looked at him sharply, broke an egg, and said:
- Honestly, I’m cooking it because I don’t want you to (mess) around the kitchen at all so that (you don’t mess) up my world.
- But he didn’t stop there; he said to her:
- Do you see? We are living a marital relationship based on fear of chaos, not on pure love between us, and that is the tragedy.
- The wife couldn’t bear his philosophy, went to him, and (cracked) the second egg over his head and said to him: (Come on, let your philosophy have breakfast) my dear.
In general; these are family problems that have nothing to do with us. Please tell me, which came first, the egg or the chicken?!
Anyway; in our daily lives, we may encounter such people, who have a superhuman ability to complicate anything simple and exaggerate it. You ask them: How’s the weather? They respond: The weather is merely a reflection of your psychological state, sometimes the sun is shining but your heart is cloudy, and sometimes it rains but your spirit is in a desert. And if you are silent:
They tell you silence is more eloquent than speech, while you are only thinking about one thing: when will they apply this wisdom and be quiet.
In summary:
Indeed, this category of people feels that they sleep on (Nietzsche) books and wake up to (Descartes) breakfast, and they believe that life can spoil entirely if we delve into it philosophically.
By the way; I asked a friend of mine who is a "math teacher," and I said to her in a casual conversation between us: When do you sleep at night?
She answered me: "At the hour when the square of a third of it equals the cube of a sixth of it."
(Now you figure that one out) for myself, I told her:
May God keep you busy with yourself, hoping you haven’t slept.
